My Ex Used Me and Left. Dealing With Trust Issues Now

Q: Dear Todd, I had someone pretend to like me for a year and then she told me that she was using me and that the whole time she hated me. It messed me up so much. I still think that everyone hates me because idk if I can trust people. What if they are like her? What if I’m annoying? Is there something wrong with me? I also hate…

Do You Know Yourself?

All loving relationships start with knowing. All problems stem from a lack of understanding. If we are to love ourselves, love others as ourselves, and eliminate internal and external conflict, we must know ourselves.The wisdom that arises from understanding who we truly are cannot be told to us. Just as we cannot develop a good relationship with another person by simply reading about relationships, we cannot develop a good relationship…

Is Gay Shame or Religious Guilt Worth Sacrificing Your Love?

Q: Dear Todd, my problem is: I am someone who saw and recognized my same-sex attraction from a young age. Over time, I surrendered to such behavior and came into contact with men. I was in a relationship with a wonderful man for several years. With whom I broke up some time ago, even though I had everything that every "gay" would want. The reason why I broke up is…

Need Someone to Care About Me

Sometimes in our lives we can feel like there is nobody there to care about us. Other times, the people who are supposed to care about us are trying to take advantage of us. So what can we do when we just need a hug, when we need the love and support of the outside world, and when we find ourselves lost in loneliness. Here are two essential things that…

Recognizing And Addressing Unequal Relationships

From Path to Peace With Todd Perelmuter NewsletterI heard a recent statistic that 27% of Americans are estranged from a close family member, and that number is likely far higher due to the stigma and shame around such difficult family situations. (More on how to survive a dysfunctional family in this podcast.)Relationships can be messy. We do not live in a utopia that cares first and foremost about creating healthy,…

The Simple Trick of Dealing With Difficult People That Works

Difficult people. We have all dealt with them, we will all surely deal with them again, and chances are very good that we've even been that person from time to time. So, how can we better deal with people who push our buttons? How can we prevent our own buttons from getting pushed?  Luckily, the answer is the same for both. An interaction between difficult people is a battle of…

How Can I Trust Finding Love Again After Being Hurt So Bad?

Love isn’t always easy. Usually the journey to finding true love is filled with heartache, anger, sadness and depression. But also joy, comfort, companionship, laughter and fun. Unless you get so lucky as to marry your first date, there will be some heartbreak. Fortunately however, there are some ways to help you trust finding love again after being hurt.To quote Pat Benatar, love is a battlefield. Sometimes we get hurt.…

Emotionally Abused in Relationships or Dating?

Q: Dear Todd, I have an inferiority complex. Every time I date, I just end up being emotionally abused by my partner. TODD ANSWERS: Inferiority in dating is so common, you probably regularly date people who also feel inferior. We’re all insecure to some degree. It’s totally normal and healthy to have a healthy degree of self-skepticism. If I never doubted myself, I’d probably have worn my Superman cape to…

Path to Peace The Cure for Loneliness

Human beings need social connection in order to live full, happy, safe and protected lives. It's hardwired into our DNA. No human was brought into this world without the love and nurturing of someone else. But too often in our modern society, we find there is no tribe, no village, and no community to offer that safety and comfort. In this podcast I talk about the two types of actions…

Can I Ever Heal From the Trauma of Having a Toxic Mother?

Q: Dear Todd, 38 long fucking years of severely crippling mental and emotional rape mainly at the hands of the toxic person that's supposed to be my so-called "mother"...that is STILL presently ongoing right now. How the fuck is this shit temporary?!?! When does it end?!?!TODD ANSWERS: My dear friend, I am so sorry that the person entrusted to protect you has let you down and continues to. That is…