Q: Dear Todd, most people don't like me, no matter how friendly & kind I am to them. Some people don't like me in the 1st instance without even knowing me. Others pretend to like me. At work today I was told by one of my colleagues I'm making them look bad just because I was getting on with my work. They all keep staring at me when I notice…
Q: Dear Todd, I had someone pretend to like me for a year and then she told me that she was using me and that the whole time she hated me. It messed me up so much. I still think that everyone hates me because idk if I can trust people. What if they are like her? What if I’m annoying? Is there something wrong with me? I also hate…
Q: Dear Todd, what if a person treats everyone else well with kindness and compassion with the exclusion of oneself, that is, that person only feels hatred towards me? How can one not take it personally then? I'd like to think it's a projection of how they feel about themselves but it's apparent they're okay and happy when with others just not me. And it's not because of something I…
Difficult people. We have all dealt with them, we will all surely deal with them again, and chances are very good that we've even been that person from time to time. So, how can we better deal with people who push our buttons? How can we prevent our own buttons from getting pushed? Luckily, the answer is the same for both. An interaction between difficult people is a battle of…
From Path to Peace With Todd Perelmuter NewsletterCruel words can only hurt us if they are tinged with truth. Not with objective truth, but with our own personal truth. Objectively, no words would ever hurt us because we would be looking at our situation rationally, from all angles, and we’d be honest with ourselves about what we know and don’t know.If that inner voice in our head is self-critical, other…
Someone recently asked me this question about how to respond to people who hurt us. I get it, believe me. Our first (unconscious) instinctual reaction is to respond with anger. But this would be a reaction that lacks wisdom, patience, perspective, and most importantly, efficacy. It is just not effective when communicating to respond with anger. People's walls go up and they dig even deeper into their positions.So how can…
If you're living and breathing, someone at some point in life will inevitably say something mean. Every single one of us has been hurt in some way, AND every one of us has probably accidentally said a mean word or two as well. It's human nature. Unless we live in a completely toxic-free society, we're going to be hurt and we're going to subconsciously and unintentionally pass that hurt on…
Q: Dear Todd, is it bad to avoid people who are mean and hurtful rather than to spend time with them? TODD ANSWERS: I think of it the way I think of art. I deeply love all art because it comes from a place of wishing to make the world a more beautiful place. However, I can’t hang every piece of art in my house, so I have to be…
Love is the glue that holds this universe together. It is the gravity that unites two star crossed lovers. And it is the only reason we exist — it brought our parents together, love nourished and protected us through infancy, and it is the only reason we haven’ blown ourselves up yet.Love is a feeling as innate as hunger. Instead of leading us to food, love guides us towards being more…
Q: Dear Todd, 38 long fucking years of severely crippling mental and emotional rape mainly at the hands of the toxic person that's supposed to be my so-called "mother"...that is STILL presently ongoing right now. How the fuck is this shit temporary?!?! When does it end?!?!TODD ANSWERS: My dear friend, I am so sorry that the person entrusted to protect you has let you down and continues to. That is…
“I thought my biggest fear was growing old and dying in prison. In truth, my biggest fear was growing old and not knowing myself.”
- Rick Smith, Albama inmate
Path to Peace - A newsletter not just for your mental health but also for your spiritual health.
