Q: Dear Todd, I have an inferiority complex. Every time I date, I just end up being emotionally abused by my partner.
TODD ANSWERS: Inferiority in dating is so common, you probably regularly date people who also feel inferior. We’re all insecure to some degree. It’s totally normal and healthy to have a healthy degree of self-skepticism. If I never doubted myself, I’d probably have worn my Superman cape to school well into high school.
And remember, just because someone seems confident, that is often masking an inferiority complex. So it can be expressed in different ways. An abusive person is often insecure. Napoleon had an inferiority complex (famously called a Napolean Complex for being short), and he failed trying to take over the world to prove what a big man he was.
So, long story short, why spend one minute focusing on yourself at all, and instead focus on the other person. Are they kind? Are they comfortable in their skin? Or do they need to put others down to feel better? When your awareness shifts to them, self-doubt, self-consciousness, and self-everything else disappears. I have made a few videos and podcasts on dating, inferiority complex, and insecurity, I hope they help.