Human beings are the most remarkably adaptable species on Earth. We are blessed with the ability to adapt to any environment, location, and situation. A baby growing up in Spain will adapt to her culture and learn Spanish. A baby growing up in the Arctic will learn to icefish and speak Inuit.
This adaptability gives us the variety of rich cultures and ways of life for our species. Whatever situation we are born into, that will be what is normal to us. As young developing children, we adopt our society’s customs.
Similarly, we are animals with genetic memory. We are conditioned to find food and survive. Our genetic memory will protect us from bears and heights, and our survival instincts will be honed for the rest of our lives.
But along with this ability to learn, remember and evolve, we also have the ability to unlearn and decondition ourselves when threats are no longer present.
Sometimes, we are taught things that turn out to be untrue. Some people are brought up in unstable households. For a lot of people, school was not a safe place, and children should always feel safe. There are fights, bullies, and now cyberbullies. It’s all too much for a developing psyche to process.
As we grow up and begin to have more autonomy over our lives, it becomes essential that we explore and undo some of the defense mechanisms that are no longer serving us, such as always being on high alert, and the chronic stress that comes with it.
When we were helpless children, everything felt like life or death: our reputation, our popularity, our grades, our looks, everything. But as adults, we can handle anything. It just takes a little bit of conscious awareness to change the way our subconscious mind sees the world.
There is a battle going on within every one of us. We have our fearful, needy, desirous ego on the one hand. And on the other hand we have the wisdom, calm, patience and compassion of our consciousness. Which side wins out will determine the quality of our lives. More on creating a conscious life here.
If your body and mind react automatically to certain triggers, if it senses danger despite there being none, this is an area that deserves some exploration. Like an astronomer observing the stars, we need to observe our psyche in order to understand it. In my latest podcast, I share a 4-step process for quieting the mental chatter so we can learn to live in alignment with the deepest parts of who we truly are.
If you find yourself reacting unconsciously, either internally (tensing up) or externally (screaming or addiction), turn inward and stay with that emotion. Really explore it until holding onto that senseless reaction seems ridiculous to you.
By making self-awareness a habit, unconscious reactions dissolve under the light of consciousness. To remain aware is to remain present, free from the conditioning of the past. The wisdom in our DNA will still be there to serve us, but it will no longer control us.
Much love,
Todd
P.S. Coffee With Todd will be kicking off in NYC in a few short weeks. Be sure to fill out the form here so you don’t miss it.
