Self-hatred is a terrible affliction born out of the false perception that you are your thoughts. It divides us into two people rather than being one whole complete person. This illusion falsely implies you hate yourself, but in reality, you can’t have a relationship with yourself.
You simply are you. Relationships with yourself can only happen if you believe you are split in two. By recognizing your true self, all self-loathing ceases to be. Don’t be hard on yourself, you’re doing your absolute best.
How to Break Out of the Self-Hating Mindset
Most people don’t hate themselves all the time. Our self-perceptions usually oscillates between highs and lows. Most of the time we are trying to build ourselves up, speak positively to ourselves, and try to muster up the confidence and energy needed to get through the day. We try to live at that high level all the time.
But inevitably, someone rejects us, someone says an unkind word, or life doesn’t go our way, and so we downward spiral into worthlessness and self-hatred. The key to happiness and self-love isn’t narcissistic, egotistical arrogance. The key is to get off that rollercoaster of self-image altogether.
This is where that spiritual expression, “I am,” comes in handy. Instead of thoughts that fluxuate between, “I am great,” or, “I am terrible,” both of which are temporary and fleeting, we can live in the eternally peaceful state of: I am.
This is what it means to be free from relationship with the Self. This is how we discover the oneness in ourselves and the oneness of the universe.
To be is enough. We are all perfect, miraculous beings infused with the mysteries of life and consciousness. We are perfect in our imperfections. We are perfect in our accomplishments and in our failings. Even Shakespeare has terribly insulting reviews on Amazon. So this idea of perfection is nothing more than a fictitious, ego-created concept.
You are. I am. How wonderful it is. Human, animal, man, woman, gay, straight, child, adult, black, white, religious, agnostic, good, bad, smart, dumb, etc… These are just labels that take us further away from the truth of I am. They divide us into false categories that do not exist. They let us feel certain in our self righteousness. They make us feel safe yet exacerbate our misunderstanding of the deeper reality.
There are no divisions in life. Not within you nor outside of you. You did not make yourself. The universe made you. And the universe is not dumb or bad. It just is.
Any mistakes we’ve made are not our fault. Any success is not ours to praise. We grow up in families. We live in societies. We are products of our environment. The law of cause and effect states that every choice, thought and action happened because of countless reasons that came before it.
We are expressions of the universe. We need not worry or stress over our inadequacies. We can embrace them. We can love them. And this is how we can transmute them from self-perceived limitations into our greatest, most precious and unique assets.
Every single human on Earth is different. We each have a special role to play. We are beings of love, brought into this world through an act of love, and we have infinite love to give — both to others and ourselves. And we can only let the love out when we know ourself.
When we know ourself beyond all labels, we understand the true nature of every other living being. Through understanding, wisdom and peace emerge. Hate cannot coexist with understanding, wisdom and peace.
We will never figure out what makes us truly happy in life if we do not first know ourselves. Take the journey within, in the book, Finding Your True Self: A Love Story. It’s the most important journey any of us can take.
