Relationships are not always easy. Two egos can really get in the way of two people trying to connect. We may have a certain way of seeing and being in the world, while other people may have a totally different viewpoint. (I talk about our attachment to thinking, our fear of not thinking, and how we can take back the reins of our mind in my latest video.)
As long as we seek happiness and security in relationships, we will have fear and insecurity. If we expect others to be good and reliable, we will often be disappointed and let down.
We may wish to become hermits living in the cave of our own homes because this is easier than messy relationships. But, the moment we accept people as they are — including ourselves — relationships become easy.
We need society. We need farmers and truck drivers. We need healthcare workers and construction workers. We need engineers and miners. We even need friendship and love. But more than all of these needs, we need to exist in wise relation to others.
The only way to be in wise relationships is to see people as they are. Lofty ideals, while essential for evolving the consciousness of our species, can also blind us from the reality of the moment.
People will be cruel. People will act out. People will be irrational and unthoughtful. Why should we expect them to be any different?
The only wise thing to do is to make sure our expectations line up with reality. When we do this, unkindness will no longer cause suffering. This is how we become free from needing people to be different than they are. (Here Are 11 Inspirational Quotes for Tough Times)
The truth is, humans will disappoint us sometimes and at other times they will surprise us with their kindness and generosity. Knowing this, we can engage in the world with joy and peace. We become free to be ourselves, just as we give others the freedom to be themselves.
Just by this subtle shift in how we see others, the world comes into clearer focus. Wisdom and understanding arise. And with that, so does compassion. This clarity doesn’t make us foolish and naive. On the contrary, we don’t fall for scams because we have a deeper knowledge of how humans can be.
Let go of expectations. Let go of desires that don’t align with reality. Let go of demands on others. Let go of the need for others to satisfy you. When you do this, you can float above conflict as you engage with the world. You will be a beacon of love to everyone, while also having the strength to leave relationships that are untenable. And most importantly, you will notice how others become more loving to you when you become unconditional love for them.
To raise the consciousness of this planet, we’re going to have to reach down low to pick others up.
Before you go, if you happened to get a copy of Digital Ego, or any other book/audiobook, please go to Amazon (right now) and leave your honest review. Reviews are how people find books to read and your review could help someone who is suffering from addiction to social media, internet, gaming, gambling, online shopping and more. I also made available some free resources for screen addiction on EastWesticism.org.
Much love,
Todd
PS – Spirituality is a word that has about 8 billion definitions. So what the heck is it? How does it relate to religion? Can you have one without the other? Are they mutually exclusive or do we need both to reach our ultimate potential? Explore the history of religion and spirituality with me here.
