If we overthink about it, life can be very confusing. There is so much information that we are bombarded with daily, from ads to movies, from social media to our in-person interactions. Within all of that information are subtle cues that tell us how life should be, what a perfect life looks like, and how you’ll finally be happy if only (fill in the blank). But, all of that noise is enough to drown out our intuition. And so, swirling around in our head is 98% other people’s thoughts and opinions and only 2% our own thoughts. This is because only 2% of our lives are given to quiet reflection, introspection and contemplation.

If we can take some time each day to process all of that information we’re bombarded with, we can start to undo some of that societal conditioning and find out who we are and what we want deep down. No two people are alike. Some people have found peace in a cave. Others find it in large, beautiful, messy, loving, overbearing, drama-filled families. Every person is different, and there are pros and cons to both choices. Rather than worrying about making the right choice or not, follow your heart, play, explore, try new experiences and take chances (safely of course). This is how we can find out what lights up our heart.

If feelings of fear of rejection or relationship anxiety come up, that doesn’t mean relationships are wrong for you. It simply means there are some irrational, conditioned responses that you have acquired, and that you can spend some time exploring and working through as well. Breaking through barriers like fear is one of the most rewarding achievements a person can make.

Ultimately, and in ideal circumstances, humans are social creatures and we thrive off of close-knit communities. But, that doesn’t have to be romantic. Simply two people sharing a loving space with each other is healing, not just mentally and spiritually, but physically as well. Not all relationships have to look like a 1950s sitcom. They can be long-term or short-term, traditional or nontraditional. Our lives are up to us to make them as we wish, and as long as it’s regarding consensual adults, as long as we are kind and respectful, no one can tell us what that should or shouldn’t look like. Not even me.

Every great love story, no matter who it’s with, starts with the love we have for ourself — our true self. Take the journey within, in the book, Finding Your True Self: A Love Story.