When we grow up being punished and criticized, negative reinforcement becomes the only form of motivation we know. When we are brought up by tough teachers or parents who thought this was the best way, we can begin to actually fear and resist encouragement, praise and positive reinforcement. By growing up with negative reinforcement, we begin to subconsciously and mistakenly associate all of our accomplishments with stress, pressure and panic.…
Q: Dear Todd, “Am I supposed to be grateful for abuse and love my abuser?" Is that what spirituality is teaching me? TODD ANSWERS: I receive a lot of questions that contain a few common misperceptions about spirituality. For example, people will ask, "Does spirituality mean just being passive? Am I supposed to be grateful for abuse and love my abuser?" Spirituality is not passive or weak. It is not…
Q: Dear Todd, is it possible to maintain inner peace when the world is going through so much? There are wars, terrorism and human rights violations. Is it achievable to be peaceful while other countries are suffering?Todd Answers: Isn’t it interesting that a parent with a child in danger can run and save the child without thinking but if we watch TV we get stress and sadness? This empathy is…
Self-hatred is a terrible affliction born out of the false perception that you are your thoughts. It divides us into two people rather than being one whole complete person. This illusion falsely implies you hate yourself, but in reality, you can't have a relationship with yourself. You simply are you. Relationships with yourself can only happen if you believe you are split in two. By recognizing your true self, all…
From Path to Peace With Todd Perelmuter NewsletterHow to Stop Sabotaging Your Own HappinessLet’s take a moment and look at our ego — that thinking part of our brain. It’s not hard to see how, when all humans used to live in the wilderness, that these thinking machines would come in handy. It’s very useful, when there’s danger everywhere, to have these danger detectors. The ego is always looking out…
Humanity has been through a lot lately. Pandemic, economic destruction, and war. Just one of those can be too much to bear. This doesn't even include the stress it puts on our families, friendships and mental health. Luckily, there are a great many and powerful tools at our disposal to heal from trauma, to re-energize ourselves, and to recenter ourselves. In this podcast, Todd shares his easy, practical tips for…
Q: Dear Todd, my stepdaughter had an alcoholic mother who has passed away. And I have recently accepted that I too am an alcoholic. My husband and I haven’t had any booze for 4 months. I suffer over my step daughter tremendously. She is a raging person and never ever apologizes, mostly blaming her behavior on others. She has caused so much pain to her small children, all of her…
Ah yes, the age old ritual of courtship. Feigning disinterest, playing it cool but charming, all to entice a potential. The beautiful mating dance of two humans seeking connection. Objectively and logically speaking, we have three options. Be alone. Change our standards. Or we can change ourselves. I believe it tends to be preferential to adhere to options two and three. Option two means that we make sure we’re not…
Make Life Less ChaoticI wish this wasn’t such a timely metaphor, but tragically due to the recent events in Ohio it is: a speeding train cannot reverse course instantaneously. It has so much inertia that it can only be stopped very slowly, and only once it’s stopped can it begin the gradual acceleration in the other direction.Our habits, especially our mental habits, are like speeding trains. When we are born,…
4 Tips for Anger ManagementTo work on oneself, to admit our flaws, to face them head on and to overcome them takes the greatest courage there is.We only yell out and act out in rage because we have lost ourselves and our composure. Because we fail to know how to use our words to communicate clearly.In meditation and mindfulness, we can remain at peace, we can think clearly, and can…
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