We all want to be liked and we crave acceptance. And yet, at times we can feel like everyone is judging us or hating us. Ironically, it’s often the people-pleasers who are most sensitive to this phenomenon. They want to be liked by everyone (which is impossible) and so when just one person is unkind, they notice. This can make it very difficult to have a peaceful life. So what…
I stayed for some time in a Buddhist monastery in a jungle in southern Thailand. At first, it was my torment. There were no screens in the windows to keep the bugs away and this was my first experience sleeping with a wooden pillow. But as the days, weeks, and months went on, the lack of comforts became my salvation. This monastery became one of the greatest spiritual experiences in…
Is mindfulness about controlling our thoughts or suppressing them? What even is the difference? Are they even possible things to achieve? Are they even worthy of us trying? In today's episode, I lay out the differences between these two approaches to dealing with our thoughts. But more importantly, I describe a third option for approaching our thoughts that is actually easy and way more effective for generating lasting happiness and…
Sometimes the flowers bloom, and sometimes they whither. Bears play, and other times they hibernate. Everything in the universe is governed by the natural cycles. We are no different. Sometimes we humans are up, and sometimes we’re low. More on how we can make peace with where we are in life, how to get where we want to go, and how to see the limitless choices that are available to…
Dealing With Being GhostedWe’ve all been there. Someone texts you, you text back, and then, silence. Sometimes it takes a few hours, sometimes days, and sometimes never.Or, when dating, you might really like someone and you think, “This can really go somewhere,” but then they disappear. Sometimes you just keep waiting for that text which never arrives. You may cycle through every emotion: anger, confusion, sadness… You keep analyzing what…
Q: Dear Todd, will you please give me encouragement on healing from a long-time illness? I'm told I can heal but I feel hopeless. TODD ANSWERS: I just want you to know that your body is an incredibly amazing healing machine. We know for certain that our mental state can either make us sick, or it can help us recover.So I simply encourage you to view your pain and discomfort,…
Our mind is the determiner of whether we are happy and content, or longing and dissatisfied. We may think it is because of this situation or that one, but one way or another we find out that it always stems from our mind. The question is, will we learn to become the masters of our mind or not.Yes, we all wish for possessions, praise, friendships and a loving family. But,…
When we go on a downward spiral of negativity, underneath the thoughts are an attachment to those thoughts. This is the only reason we would mindlessly make ourselves suffer. Unconsciously, we want the drama, we want self-righteousness, we want the justified anger. AND, we unconsciously don’t want to let go, don’t want to accept, and don’t want to move on. The truth is, our value doesn’t come from others’ praise,…
At the heart of every conflict is at least one or two outsized egos. These egos tear families apart, break up lovers, ruin friendships, and turn strangers into enemies. So how did we get here? Why do we have these egos? Are our egos protecting us or hurting ourselves and our relationships? In this podcast episode (subscribe here ), I talk about how we can forgive without getting hurt again,…
Our society today values thinking above being. We are encouraged ever since preschool to always be thinking. While human thinking and intellect are the greatest tools for survival on our planet, if that thinking isn't infused with presence, wisdom, and conscious intention, it will lead to every single problem humans have created throughout our history. It's no wonder most people have a deeply ingrained habit of incessant thinking. We don't…
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