How to Heal From Abandonment Trauma Through Spirituality

Throughout various stages of life, nearly all of us will face some kind of abandonment, neglect, separation or avoidance by someone we care about. And, because we all go through difficult times in our lives, the chances are likely that we will be emotionally unavailable to the people we care about from time to time. It's a world full of trauma survivors traumatizing other people accidentally. But, the good news…

When You Are the Bad Guy in the Family

Q: Dear Todd, it's tough knowing that, (at the moment), I am the person bringing the people I love down. I know what living with "toxic negativity" is, but I am trying to forgive who I was and be a better me. I hope others can forgive me, (again), too. TODD ANSWERS: Awareness and good intentions are the first and the most important step of that healing and forgiving journey. Most…

How to Say No Without Hurting Anyone’s Feelings

Q: I have always loved everyone since I was young. But over time that love has died. I used to be a happy person but things have changed in me. I gave too much but didn’t receive the same back. Any thoughts?Todd Answers: You can only give what you have to give. This is why it’s so important to listen to your body and mind and know when you need…

Is Responding with Kindness a Strength or Weakness?

Q: Dear Todd, shouldn't we respond with our true feelings to people who hurt us and not with love and kindness?TODD ANSWERS: Someone recently asked me this question about how to respond to people who hurt us. I get it, believe me. Our first (unconscious) instinctual reaction is to respond with anger. But this would be a reaction that lacks wisdom, patience, perspective, and most importantly, efficacy. It is just…

Feeling Inadequate and Worthless? Here’s the SOLUTION

If supermodels are insecure, if billionaires feel like failures, and if the world's greatest artists feel like imposters, how the heck are the rest of us supposed to feel worthy and good enough?! The truth is, value doesn't come from others' praise, worth doesn't come from wealth, and contentment doesn't come from achievement. If we only care about superficial things like money and looks, our lives will lack what truly…

Can I Be My Own Role Model?

Spirituality is a word that means something different to just about everyone. Some people think spirituality is about being kind to others at the expense of ourself. They think it means being taken advantage of, letting governments and people do anything they want, being passive, inactive, and naive. Other people think spirituality is all about selfish interests, self-love, self-care, and selfishly feeling happy despite the many problems in the world.…

Betrayal Trauma: How to Stop Overthinking & Let Go

When we get hurt and let down by others, the pain we feel lingers on long after the emotional event took place. These traumatic moments in our lives take up a disproportionate amount of our mental space. If we have too many of these moments in our lives, their mental real estate can consume us. It can take all our effort not to let those experiences define us and shape…

Am I Destined to Be Forever Alone & Single?

We all (well most of us anyway) want a devoted partner, close friends, and a loving family. But trying to find the right partner, make friends, and build a family can do a number on our psyche.Relationships are a minefield of rejection and disappointment, betrayal and failure. They wreak havoc on our self-esteem, make us question our lives, and they can leave us feeling completely broken.But, relationships also provide us…

How to Break Free from Digital Addiction & Reconnect in a Tech-Obsessed World

Q: Dear Todd, either it is the generation, or something else, but I feel, people are too attached to stuff - money, sex, food, Netflix, cellphones, etc. Have you seen that movie "ripped" when they fly from the 80s to today and they go to a mall and everyone is with their cells, and they think they're in a math convention cos everyone has a "calculator", it is what's happening…

What Do You Do When Your Child is Toxic?

When the Toxic Person is Your KidThere is no secret recipe for raising perfect kids. There are countless influences in the world and not all of them are positive. A parent can not control everything a child hears, sees, and experiences.Sometimes, despite our best efforts, kids can fall into drugs, a bad crowd, disrespect, and a refusal to listen. Parents are not robots, and it’s normal to get frustrated and…