Q: Dear Todd, not every moment is pleasurable, in my opinion. When your car slides off the edge of an icy logging road and time slows down, you’re going to feel instinctual, epigenetic fear coursing through your body. Maybe there’s a yogi who experiences bliss during traumatic events, but I would guess that at that point, you’re ready for Nirvana. And is that really Nirvana if you experience trauma, fear, and anxiety as a blissful experience?

TODD ANSWERS: You are correct that every moment will not be desirable. We will get bad news from time to time and we could even find ourselves in danger. There will be sadness and there will be pain. This we cannot control. But what we can control is how we experience those moments of pain. Do we look away, try to push it away, fight with it, resist it, panic with anxiety, or sink into a depression? Or, do we calmly and plainly accept it with peace and curiosity?

One day I was driving on the highway when one of my tires blew out. My car started spinning and everything went into slow motion. While the car slid across the medium and into oncoming traffic, I miraculously had the time and presence to turn to my family and say, “Everything is going to be alright.” The car proceeded to slide off the road and into a ditch. Luckily, we were all OK, except for the car. After that, we were all just ecstatic to be alive and unscathed.

So we don’t have to be yogis to stay present with uncomfortable experiences. We can all make efforts to embrace the whole of life — the good and the undesirable. This is the deepest essence of religion because it is to love the whole of the universe/God’s creation. This is what it means to truly worship. This way, even if something unpleasant is happening, there is still love. That is bliss.