What is the secret to peace and contentment? Why is it so elusive? We all seek it and yet very few of us have it. We are bombarded with “solutions” for discontent everywhere and all the time. This or that product will finally give you the feeling of wholeness. The next iPhone will be the last product you’ll ever need… until the next model comes out. This car, that house, this job, that amount of money, this therapy, that new drug, etc… — these are the stories we tell ourselves when we can finally put aside the feeling of subtle misery we walk around with 24/7.
The problem is, no situation will ever be perfect because the source of our discontent doesn’t lie in external circumstances. It lies in the mind. It is the mind which generates the stories of our lives. It is the mind that obsesses over problems or fixates on wants and desires — never being satisfied. And, it is the mind that will continue to find problems no matter how “perfect” our lives look on paper.
One of the greatest misconceptions about contentment is that we mistake pleasure for happiness. If a favorite food brought true happiness, then the more we ate the happier we would become. But the opposite is true — that first bite is the best and if we keep eating we eventually become sick and miserable. What brings us true lasting happiness will allow us to deepen our peace and joy the more we do it, not less.
Knowing that the pleasure-chasing mind creates all problems, we also know that the solution also lies within the mind. We can train our mind to become peaceful and joyful. We can practice finding the true source of peace and joy within. In this podcast episode, I share exactly how to find that free and infinite wellspring of contentment that no object, circumstance or amount of money will ever bring.
***If you prefer reading to listening, here’s the transcript of this podcast***
Contentment and satisfaction are the opposite of suffering. When we are fully content, we feel completely fulfilled.
In that state, there is no longing, no craving. There is no trying to find meaning in life or wondering about our purpose. There is only peace and clarity. That is the state we’re all striving to achieve for lasting happiness.
Many people believe that the answer to contentment is acquiring the next promotion, that big raise, the new car, or the house we’ve been wanting. But we all know people who have everything we could ever want and are completely miserable.
Contentment does not reside in possessions, because as soon as that new car smell wears off, so does the happiness, so does that rush of dopamine, that pleasured drug chemical in our brain—from when we win a game of cards to buying a new large purchase. It is temporary and always comes with suffering later on—you know, the fear of losing that thing. Or chasing after that hit like a heroin addict, just chasing that dragon.
A lot of people will say we need to practice gratitude, keep a gratitude journal, and write down the things we’re grateful for. While that does help, gratitude is actually a symptom of contentment; it is not the source of contentment.
When we get to the source, when we feel the bliss of pure being, of the joy of being alive, we feel grateful for everything and everyone around us—it comes naturally.
The Art of Gratitude Short Film
Sometimes, we just need a little reminder of how precious this life truly is.
So, How Do We Find More Peace & Contentment in Life?
There are a few ways.
1. Connect With Yourself on Deep Level to Find Peace & Contentment
What we first need to do is connect with ourselves on a deep level and communicate with every cell in our body that contentment is not something external, that we cannot find it from accumulating possessions, we will never find it from a drug or any pleasurable activity.
Those practices only condition the mind to believe that the right circumstances will give us contentment, that some external situation, some food, drug, or person’s love, will provide the contentment we’re seeking.
So, we actually need to do the complete opposite of that.
Instead of perfecting our situation, we need to perfect our inner situation. And the way we do that is by engaging in activities that nourish us from the inside.
The way we do that is by looking to nature, to our own human nature. We need to notice the things that we evolved to do because what we evolved to do are the things that truly make us happy. Like an animal running free in the wild, fully present without a care in the world, except maybe for humans and bears.
Those things include taking a walk through nature, spending time appreciating the beauty that exists in nature, and connecting with the life force energy that surrounds us when we’re in nature— that peaceful, loving, nurturing, sustaining energy. It’s the only reason we’re here; it’s this loving energy from nature that provides us with the fruits we eat and the air we breathe.
If nature feels too far, even a plant in the house can suffice. Just communing, meditating with the plant, and appreciating the beauty and intricacy present in every cell of the plant can be profoundly rewarding. You can admire its beauty from a distance or get as close as examining the veins and mesmerizing patterns on its leaves.
We evolved to be surrounded by nature 24/7. In cities, we’ve become very disconnected, and this disconnection is one of the major sources of unhappiness. Many people I know who have lived in New York are unaware of their misery, often because they lack nature in their lives. I’ve encountered numerous individuals who grew up in New York and claim not to like nature, yet they struggle to understand why they feel unhappy, stressed, or neurotic.
So simply do your best to surround yourself in nature. Take your shoes off and walk through the sand or the grass, wherever that’s safe to do so. Have some plants, have a pet. All of these things nourish our soul.
They are essential to us as living beings. So often, we forget that we are animals and that we have these animalistic needs. This is one of the most important ones that is not being met as we are living in sterile environments. So very simply, as much as you can, as much as is available to you, swim in lakes and rivers, walk barefoot in the grass or sand, and lay in the grass at a park. Try to recreate that environment that we evolved to thrive in—every day, once a week, whatever is available to you.
The more time we spend in nature, the more we immerse ourselves in its beauty, the more blessed we feel, and the more gratitude and contentment naturally flow from us. Another crucial aspect of experiencing contentment in life is creating as many moments of awe and wonder as possible.
This can entail spending a few minutes each day watching the sunset or sunrise, visiting an art museum, playing classical music, or engaging with any form of art and music that resonates with us. Allowing ourselves to reconnect with what inspires awe, wonder, and the beauty of life.
The more opportunities we give ourselves to witness the beauty and wonder in this world, the more gratitude and feelings of bliss naturally wash over us.
Unfortunately, much of modern architecture fails to inspire as it once did. It’s crucial that we find sources of inspiration in our lives that remind us life is worth living.
There’s a significant difference between the shortening attention span fostered by content on our phones and the experience of watching a sunset or studying a painting. One feeds, our neurosis and impatience, leading us to constantly seek the next TikTok video on our phones. The other allows our minds to become present, conscious, and to find the peacefulness that is often missing in our fast-paced, chaotic modern society.
We essentially carry devices of discontentment in our pockets—our phones constantly show us something better than where we currently are. They serve as engines of discontent, always presenting possessions as something others have that we desire.
In addition to appreciating art and music and allowing ourselves to savor beauty at a slower pace, we must also learn to appreciate the little things and find beauty everywhere around us—because it truly is everywhere. Whether it’s the way light reflects off a glass or the sound of water dripping from a leaky faucet, beauty surrounds us. If we don’t feel it, it’s vital to look deeper.
Contentment is literally found all around us if we pay attention.
2. Become a Creator Rather Than a Consumer to Find Peace & Contentment
Another essential aspect I’ll mention is to remember what I said earlier: consuming often leads to discontent because there’s never enough stuff or the perfect moment that lasts forever. One way to break out of this consumeristic mindset is to shift from being a consumer to a creator.
When we consume, there’s always more, always something else we want. This perpetual desire leaves us feeling discontent and unsatisfied. Whether it’s longing for a prettier partner or a better-paying job, it all stems from a comparative mindset that the present moment is not good enough.
It’s indeed that consumer mindset, that materialistic chase, which often dominates most of our lives. So, it’s vitally important to dedicate some time every day, or whenever it works for you, to shift from being a consumer to a creator.
This means engaging in activities such as beating a drum, strumming a guitar, drawing pictures, painting, sculpting, or creating art projects with your kids. You can also make decorations for your home, indulge in knitting and sewing, or explore any creative pursuit that calls to you. Getting creative is incredibly nourishing for the soul.
Consumption, even if we’re billionaires, often leaves us with a sense of emptiness inside.
There’s no destination in that chasing game, and the act of pure creation, even if you perceive yourself as the worst artist or musician on Earth, isn’t about any finished product. It’s simply about losing yourself in the present moment, which is truly the ultimate way of finding yourself. Everything happens in this moment, in the here and now. When you’re fully absorbed in the present moment, there’s no longing for contentment or meaning; there’s only satisfaction, fulfillment, and contentment.
Art is one of the most meditative practices there is. It can be as simple as singing in the shower, singing while cooking, or taking an improv class or acting in local theater. All of these activities are enriching because they compel you to be fully present with your undivided attention. It’s an incredibly powerful practice for cultivating contentment with life—it’s medicine for the soul.
We all have an inner artist waiting to come out, so let it out.
Speaking of meditative practices, activities like art, exercising, swimming, and running are incredibly meditative. They allow you to be fully present in the moment, alone with your thoughts, while setting aside distractions, longings, and cravings, just being.
Meditation itself is also an incredible tool for cultivating contentment because it’s the practice of making peace with nothing. When we make peace with nothing, everything else in our lives becomes like icing on the cake—we don’t need it, crave it, or long for it when it’s gone. We’re not resisting what we find negative; instead, we allow whatever is to be. Making peace with the nothingness in meditation is a powerful practice.
We bring that contentment to every single activity and every moment in our lives. When we live from pleasure to pleasure without taking a moment to meditate, as soon as the pleasure is over, we feel longing for it, we crave it. Even while enjoying the experience, we may fear its imminent end.
However, when we meditate, only appreciation for whatever happens in our life exists because we are already at peace with nothing.
3. Have Food for the Body That Tends to the Soul As Well to Find Peace & Contentment
The final thing we can do to cultivate that constant contentment, which is what we all desire, is to tend to the food for the soul—food for the body as well. Fresh fruits and vegetables, and yes, drinking plenty of water may sound simple, but they make us feel amazing.
When we don’t feel good, what do we typically want to do? We often crave indulgent foods like ice cream and pizza, or turn to alcohol or drugs to alleviate the pain. However, if we truly desire total mind-body-soul contentment, we must nourish our bodies with what they truly need. We must turn to nature once again and consider how we evolved. This means embracing seeds, nuts, fruits, and vegetables.
Eating in alignment with nature can bring about a lasting, permanent sense of real energy and awesomeness—not just the fleeting pleasure of indulging in chocolate cake. That’s what we’re all truly seeking.
So, those are the secrets to lasting contentment: immersing ourselves in nature and nourishing our bodies with the foods they crave. Interestingly, the color green has a subconscious effect on our bodies—it tells us to feel good. This instinctual response is deeply ingrained in our DNA, as lush forests and water sources have historically provided us with sustenance and safety. Therefore, the color green is wired into our biology to make us feel better, which is why humans have instinctively sought out such environments for survival.
That’s why activities like running water, taking a shower, or swimming in the ocean nourish the soul so deeply. Laying on the beach or swimming in the ocean are vital experiences for every human being. So tap into that inner instinct, that primal part of yourself. Allow yourself the time to sit and reflect, to be awed and amazed by the beauty in life and all around you.
From that place, gratitude will flow like the Mighty Mississippi, and you will realize deep down that everything you need in life, you already have. There’s no need for longing, craving, desire, or even resistance to anything in life. Because everything is perfect, just as it is.
