When I was a Creative Director in advertising, I had to travel a lot for work and my companies would always put me up in 5-star hotels. It wasn’t the sheets or marble walls or gold trim that impressed me. It was always something that cost absolutely nothing: the attention and generosity of the staff.
I am currently on a family vacation (hence the infrequent newsletters), showing my dear mother-in-law the ocean for her first time. It was reminding me of the old days when I traveled all the time for work. Thinking about my busy travel days, something profound struck me — treat everyone like they’re your guest at a 5-star hotel.
Ever since I spent 50 days meditating in a forest by myself, I’ve had no expectations of service or staff because I did everything myself in the forest. Today, every little act of kindness just blows me away and I am overcome with gratitude.
I love to treat the staff and everyone I meet like they’re my customers. I always want to make sure everyone is having a good time. My hope is to live in a world where we all do this for each other, and so I live the example.
It’s so simple, it improves every relationship, and it makes life a selfless joy. There is no greater feeling than giving. To focus on others’ wellbeing is a hack for getting out of your head and into the present moment.
You can still kick people out if they violate your rules of decency. You can call the cops if they are violent or break the law. But for everyone you allow in, treat them like kings and queens. And don’t forget to treat yourself too.
Calm yourself before you speak to others. Don’t use something else to calm yourself like tobacco or alcohol or food or other substances. The more you do practice this, the better and faster you’ll get at calming yourself. It’s an important practice.
When you get upset, sit with those feelings. Invite moments of presence by focusing on something peaceful in the here and now, like your breath or surroundings. Remember that whatever or whoever upset you, people often don’t know what they’re doing or saying. People are just acting the only way they know how. Remember to assume the best in people. Give them the same grace you would have wanted before you knew better. And remember that your highest self can hear hurtful words and not let them bother you. Your higher self can laugh it off and pierce through the words, through other people’s hidden pain, and see their loving presence way way deep beneath all the superficial layers of conditioning that they’ve been through and that we’ve all been through. I have shared a 3-step process for ignoring the negative opinions of others in my latest podcast episode.
In addition, in my latest YouTube video, I share the one simple practice to improve all the other aspects of your life. By making this one skill your number one priority, every other priority becomes easier to achieve. Focusing on a million things makes us feel scatterbrained. Focusing on this one thing will allow everything else to fall into place effortlessly.
Much love,
Todd
P.S. Many of you have asked if an audiobook version of Aloneness to Oneness would be coming out, and I am happy to share that it is now available on Amazon and Audible. When we see only separateness, fear and isolation dominate our lives. When we become one, peace, healing and happiness emerge. I hope you enjoy it.
