Whether it’s a family member, pet, or cherished friend, at some point in our life we will lose the ones we love. Or they will lose us. Heartbreak lies ahead for every single one of us. We lose our parents, and occasionally God forbid, we lose a child. The pain we will all endure is enough to make anyone consider the life of a hermit.
Is this suffering inevitable? Is life pointless? Should kids and marriage be avoided? Here are my thoughts.
If we focus only on our inevitable loss, we will fail to appreciate the time we have with our loved ones. And if we look closely, we’ll notice that we only appreciate the things that are temporary. A flower is more beautiful because of its fleeting nature. Like all life, the beauty lies in the delicateness. This is why loss hurts so much — because it was so profoundly meaningful and special.
If we know even one moment of deep peace, appreciation, awe-inspiring beauty, to laugh so hard we spit out our food, to love so deeply and to be loved in return, to have just one moment of insight and awakening presence, to be fully present with even one sunrise or sunset, to be moved to tears of joy, to connect deeply with another person’s or animal’s soul, then it was worth it to be here on this earth.
We can learn to love our grief. We can find peace in our pain. When we fear loss, we really fear our ability to handle it. But we are human beings. We were built for this. If we give up on the things that make life worth living, only then will we forget what all the pain was for.
So I can’t help but recognize the brilliance and insight from William Shakespeare, “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
This is a man who knew great tragedy and terrible pain, and he still saw that life would have been nothing without love. He was not afraid to feel. Through his work he explored the very depth of his being. He saw the beauty in his suffering and he shared it with the world. We each have this same opportunity to turn our tragedy into beauty. In my latest video, I talk about those times on our journey where we stumble and fall down a hole that seemingly has no way out — the more we try to get out, the deeper we dig ourselves. I hope it helps light a path out for you.
Love is brave. But I say love heroically. Love fearlessly. Not just certain people and animals, but nature and the whole of the universe. Love big. Love with passion. Love when it hurts and love when it’s easy. Love heartache and loss too, because that is how we heal. Love the healing process and trust these magical bodies and minds to know what we need and know what they’re doing.
The mental story of our loss, unfairness, fear and hardship are just stories that mask the feelings of love that continue long after someone’s gone. The gifts these relationships give us last a lifetime. Embrace them. Cherish every moment with the wisdom of impermanence. This is why we’re here and this is the journey for each of us.
In honor of ADHD Awareness Month, I am giving away a free copy of my audiobook on ADHD and ADD. If you find it helpful, please show your support in any little way you can, like leaving a book review on Amazon for any of my books so that this healing message can reach more people, or by participating in the Peaceful Prisoners Program.
Much love,
Todd
P.S. In my new podcast episode, I share how we can navigate this increasingly complex media landscape, how to notice bias and manipulation, and most importantly how to stay grounded to the things that really matter in life.
