Turning Fear into Calm: Finding Balance Amid Life’s Challenges

Q: Dear Todd, We can never seem to fully ‘trust’—and take action—that our circumstances will transform into the dream lives we’re told we deserve. I keep trying to steer us back to gratitude first, and then move forward from there to shift our vibration to abundance. But when it comes time to pay bills, plan a much-needed vacation, or face unexpected expenses, it’s hard not to get absorbed in fear and stress. Even when you know that staying in that energy only brings more of the same! Is that the point, though? How do you face these challenges over and over? You can be angry, frustrated, depressed, and worried, but how do you avoid staying in that space, energetically putting out frenetic, unbalanced vibes? How do you transmute those feelings into calm and balance? Is that what evolution or ascension is about?

TODD ANSWERS: I really do understand those circumstances of fear and survival mode. I have been there. It becomes very difficult to think about happiness or long term goals when focusing on just paying for my next meal. I have found two things extremely helpful.

One, finding a way to love my situation. Whatever situation we find ourselves in, we can find something to love about. It doesn’t matter where you are in life, one day you will look back and marvel at how far you’ve come. It’s easy to look back fondly at how much we achieved and where we came from, but we don’t have to wait. You are the hero of your movie. We don’t love stories of people who came from wealth and became a little wealthier. We love the stories of people who rose to incredible challenges. Cherish this time, right now, right here. This moment is always the best moment. Only the mind and ego can disturb the peacefulness and beauty of this moment.

Two, focusing my negative energy on solutions. Oftentimes our inner critic is not helpful. Don’t get mad at those negative thoughts, just notice them. By redirecting our attention on how we can make the situation better, those unconscious and unproductive thoughts naturally get quieter and quieter. Solutions don’t always involve money, although we can strategize on how to get into a better job, industry, or start a business. But it could also be committing to go to a park once a day just to decompress. It could be going hiking in a forest once a week. Or it could be starting a meditation practice. We can always do something to make our lives more meaningful and fulfilling. The more we stop to appreciate beauty and peace (both free), the more we can engage in external action with internal stillness. This is how we can best achieve our goals and also enjoy the journey.

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