Q: Dear Todd, I really struggle with being impatient with myself. I feel like any goal I set can be accomplished quickly within a specific time frame (like 2 years), as long as I follow the schedule perfectly. I don’t allow myself any breaks or leeway for delays, and if I do, I just get more frustrated because I think, ‘If I had only worked on it earlier, I could have accomplished X and had Y future.’ I think you get where I’m coming from—I beat myself up for things that could have gone the way I planned. Any advice?

TODD ANSWERS: We live in a very materialistic world. Most people only think of our life as existing in this physical universe. When that happens, things and achievements take supreme importance in our lives. Even if we do not feel this way, society often influences us to believe that all that matters in life is the things we own and the wealth we possess. I have seen many people throw away relationships because of greed for things and money. Family members turn against each other all too often when a loved one dies and the issue of inheritance comes up.

The key is to start paying more attention to what really matters: feelings, health, relationships and happiness. We only obsess over material success because we don’t know how to be happy and so we put our faith in the hope that material success will fulfill us. When we realize that achievement and objects play only a very small role in our happiness, we will naturally nurture those aspects in our life that do contribute to our lasting happiness, such as rest, joy, play and peace.

Remember, we cannot fail to receive what is meant for us. What is meant for us will come and what is not will not. We don’t have to worry or fight or struggle so much. We are not robots. If you fail to rest, the odds of burnout are very high. So we must nurture these bodies of ours and listen to what it is asking for. Like any instrument, we must take care of it or it will break. I often think of Steve Jobs, a man who lived 100 years worth in his short 56 years. But sadly for his family and for the world, we will not get to see the great things he could have achieved if he had slowed down a bit.